Long Distance Run

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I don't know if you ever tried to do a long distance run. The longest race that I have ever participated is the 4km cross country race when I was doing my undergraduate in Malaysia. It took me about 24 minutes to complete the race and of course with that time, I didn't get to the top 3. I don't run anymore but I still love jogging and now cycling. The last time I did a proper endurance cycling was a 20-mile cycling practice. That took me about 1 hour and a half to complete. 

When I was running or cycling for a long distance, I know that I need to keep my energy enough to reach the finishing line, hence I will not be speeding in the beginning but it is important to get a head start to keep the pressure on others and book myself a better position. When the finishing line is within my sight, with all the energy left, I will rush to the end.

I thought my PhD is the same case as I am doing the long distance run. I started off quite fast though not rushed but still keeping myself ahead of most of my colleagues. But now I am near to the finishing line, I can see it and even taste a bit of it, but I just couldn't drag myself to the line. I thought maybe I have used too much energy in the beginning thus feeling burnt out at the moment but seeing a few of my colleagues have finished, I started to question myself, am I still running or just walking towards the finishing line. Don't get me wrong, we don't try to compete with each other, more so, we encourage each other.

I am walking and walking, sometimes taking a rest on the side and watch someone else running past me. Then I try to run again, but I can't catch my breath that I have to take a rest and walk again. Now that, the sun is going to set soon and the crowd and judges will have to leave, I have no choice but to try to get to the finishing line before the sun sets.

If you ask me do I want to finish the race, I am absolutely positive about it. If you ask me will I get there before the sun sets, I will inshaALLAH get there but I am not sure if I can break my personal best record. Too much of a perfectionist. That's my problem.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.