She's gone

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

My grandma has breathed her last this morning peacefully. Unlike my mum who struggled to breathe her last, my dad and sisters told me that my grandma departed peacefully. And today is Friday, a blessed day.

Questions remain as to what is my attitude as a muslim toward my grandma who claimed herself to be a Buddhist, a vegetarian Buddhist who believed in at least a God. There are arguments that a muslim should not pray for forgiveness for a non-muslim. This maybe quoted from the Quran when Prophet Ibrahim (as) prayed for forgiveness for his father.

"It is not (fit) for the Prophet and those who believe that they should ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even though they should be near relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are inmates of the flaming fire. And Ibrahim asking forgiveness for his sire was only owing to a promise which he had made to him; but when it became clear to him that he was an enemy of Allah, he declared himself to be clear of him; most surely Ibrahim was very tender-hearted forbearing."

~ The Holy Qur'an, Surah at-Tawbah (Chapter 9, The Repentance) verses 113-114

It is described very clearly in Surah Mariam (verses 42-50) and Surah Al-An'am (verses 74-81) that Prophet Ibrahim's father was a clear polytheist. As we know that no one will know the true belief of anyone else because there is no way that we can judge someone's faith (only ALLAH and the Prophets who were given the guidance by ALLAH can see someone's faith and what is hidden in the heart), how can we know if someone is believing or not? Someone at one point might not believe but who knows when the person is near his/her death, will ALLAH give him/her the guidance at that crucial moment of life? Seriously, no one knows except ALLAH. Whatever the person claims about him/herself, we will take it as correct. If a muslim said he/she is a muslim, then we believe so. This applies to non-muslim as well.

So, can I pray for my grandma? I don't know. Clearly, I don't know her faith after a long while I didn't see her. But I know that she was a Buddhist. Those that destine to Hell Fire forever are those who reject (kafir) and hypocrites (munafiq). Not all non-muslims are kafirun. Imam al-Ghazali said that if a non-muslim has not been told about the beauty and true teaching of Islam, it is unlikely that he/she will be judged on the Day of Judgement as a kafir. This is simply because he/she has never REJECTED Islam since he/she doesn't know what is the real teaching of Islam. Of course, we won't know what will happen to these people but surely ALLAH with HIS names ar-Rahman and ar-Rahim which carry the same connotation of merciful, gracious, kind, loving, benevolent, etc. is the Most Merciful of all. HE uses these two beautiful names the most frequent in the Qur'an - Bismillahi-Rahman-i-Rahim. And in a hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (saw) said that ALLAH's mercy encompases HIS wrath. HE still has mercy to those who reject HIM by providing sustainance for them to live in this World.

Will HE be merciful to my grandma and mum who I don't know if they had ever come across the real teaching of Islam? In the Qur'an, in several places, ALLAH says,

Yes! whoever submits himself entirely to Allah and he is the doer of good (to others) he has his reward from his Lord, and there is no fear for him nor shall he grieve.

~ The Holy Qur'an, Surah al-Baqarah (Chapter 2, The Cow) verse 112

This verse doesn't just apply to the muslims, but also others like the Jews, the Christian, the Sabian, etc. Of course, I don't know what actually will be the correct situation. According to some scholars (e.g., Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad), ALLAH's mercy is there for us to ask. Ultimately, HE will decide and judge in the most just manner on the Day of Judgement. Think about this, if there is a muslim who has never done a good deed and there is a non-muslim (I'm not talking about kafir) who always does good deeds and well-known for his/her kindness, who deserves rewards on the Day of Judgement? Of course, it would be better if he/she submits to ALLAH and does good deeds.

Of all the arguments that I have read and asked from scholars, the answers are:

1. No, because they are not muslims and you can't pray for them, even if they are your kins
2. No, but you can pray for their guidance if they are still alive
3. No, but you don't know how vast ALLAH's mercy is, maybe HE will accept your supplication
4. Yes, because ALLAH is so merciful and they are your kins who had been responsible in taking care of you and bringing you up, and they have never been shown the true teaching of Islam (hence have never been kafirun), surely ALLAH is not going to foresake your cry for the good of these people that have bring you up and now that you are a muslim
5. Yes, because you can't judge their faith and only ALLAH knows. Just ask from ALLAH.

One very interesting answer that I received was when I went to Rihla 2007 and had the chance to ask Shaykh Abdalla bin Bayyah. He said (I hope I have paraphrased it correctly), what is going to happen in the Akhirah, no one knows. We don't even know if the kinship and tie between mother and daughter will still remain. Whatever that is in this World, we can try our best to do what is good and right but in the Akhirah, it is no longer in our slightest control. What is important now is what we are doing in this World and what will happen in the Akhirah to anyone else, seriously, cannot be in our concern.

I don't have a concrete conclusion but I can only hope for the best for myself and those who I care and love.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.