A pass with minor corrections

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah. Nothing more that I can say about today's viva. Out of my expectation, really. Before I go on, let me thanks everyone who has given me your kind supports and encouraging words throughout my PhD journey. For you that make dua for me, inshaALLAH the Angels must have made dua for you as well. Passing my PhD with minor corrections means that I need to complete some minor corrections, hand it to my internal examiner and he will check on behalf of both the examiners, endorse it and then I can submit the hard-binding thesis. That's it! This will probably take two weeks, then I will go back to Malaysia, for good.

The viva took one and a half hour. It was quite relax and I really enjoyed it because the examiners were very kind, supportive and funny too. I think I laughed a lot during the viva and they didn't ask me any mean questions, most of them were to clarify things, create some kind of argument, debates and discussions, and to help me think deeply about my findings. At one point of the viva, the two examiners started to have some kind of dispute. They were debating with each other over a concept and I was like sitting there watching them arguing. Then we talked about sports and other stuff as well during the viva. So really, it's not stressed at all and I had had some great time.

After that viva session, I went out of the room and they were having discussion about my results before they called me and my supervisor in to inform us the result. Alhamdulillah, they really like my thesis and research. The only problem is that I need to be more confident and braver in claiming my research findings. So, most of the corrections suggested are to help strengthen my thesis. I am very happy to have such encouraging and supportive examiners. 

Alhamdulillah.

Wassalam.

Viva!

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

InshaALLAH my viva will be in half an hour. I'm sitting here waiting to be called to the viva room. Basically, my examiners are here. They were having lunch with my supervisor and the PhD course manager, as usual procedure of the viva. After the lunch, the two examiners will sit together and exchange each other reports for discussion if they both have come to the same result for my PhD. If there is a substantive difference, a longer time will be needed to discuss over it, if not, I will be called in at 2.30pm today. There are basically 7 outcomes of a viva:

1. Pass without correction
2. Pass with minor corrections
3. Pass with major corrections
4. Review and resubmit
5. Resubmit and viva
6. Approve for a Master Degree
7. Fail

Please make dua.

Wassalam.

Submitted!

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, all praises due to ALLAH, the Lord of the Universe. By HIS Grace, I've finally submitted my thesis to the Board of Graduate Studies yesterday. It's a burden off my shoulders but there is a bigger test to come - viva-voce examination, which will be scheduled on 12 May 2009 inshaALLAH. Lot's to prepare before the viva, please make dua for me.

Wassalam.

Thesis

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

After more than a year of writing and correcting and editing, (not yet finally) I printed out my first draft of thesis 2 weeks ago for my supervisor to do the final check of the contents of my thesis. When I printed out the whole thesis and sent it to binding, suddenly it knocked me that - this looks like a thesis! I didn't know what to think but kept telling myself that there is still a long way before the end. I still need to wait for the corrections, make the corrections, send it for proof reading to check the grammar, spelling, etc., binding, submission, viva, corrections after viva (hopefully can skip this bit) and hard-binding. Yeah, still a long way to go.

When I gave it to my supervisor, he emailed me back and said that this looks like a thesis. And on the day when he returned me the thesis with corrections during a mini-viva session, he said it looks like a thesis and he read like a thesis. But the viva wasn't that good because I was not assertive and aggressive enough to explain my stances. So, need to work on that. 

After corrected the thesis, I printed out everything including the title page, abstract, table of contents, appendices, etc. it then looks like a real thesis, only without binding. I posted it to a friend who can do a proper proof reading for me last week, inshaALLAH I'll see her this Friday to go through all the corrections. And after that inshaALLAH the thesis will be submitted. I am looking at either Monday or Tuesday of next week to submit the thesis.

What next? Really it depends on my sponsor. I either pack and go back to Malaysia and come back again for my viva which is scheduled on 12 May 2009 or I stay here until my viva and submission of the hard-binding thesis. My sponsor has not made any decision. This might be the last few days for me to be in the UK or I will stay on until my viva.

I would like to stay simply because it let me have more time and focus to prepare for my viva. I still have a lot to read and study before the viva because the viva is not just testing what I have written in my thesis but also what I should know about the field and the broader areas of the field. Yes, it is still a long way to go. 

Wassalam.

Long Distance Run

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I don't know if you ever tried to do a long distance run. The longest race that I have ever participated is the 4km cross country race when I was doing my undergraduate in Malaysia. It took me about 24 minutes to complete the race and of course with that time, I didn't get to the top 3. I don't run anymore but I still love jogging and now cycling. The last time I did a proper endurance cycling was a 20-mile cycling practice. That took me about 1 hour and a half to complete. 

When I was running or cycling for a long distance, I know that I need to keep my energy enough to reach the finishing line, hence I will not be speeding in the beginning but it is important to get a head start to keep the pressure on others and book myself a better position. When the finishing line is within my sight, with all the energy left, I will rush to the end.

I thought my PhD is the same case as I am doing the long distance run. I started off quite fast though not rushed but still keeping myself ahead of most of my colleagues. But now I am near to the finishing line, I can see it and even taste a bit of it, but I just couldn't drag myself to the line. I thought maybe I have used too much energy in the beginning thus feeling burnt out at the moment but seeing a few of my colleagues have finished, I started to question myself, am I still running or just walking towards the finishing line. Don't get me wrong, we don't try to compete with each other, more so, we encourage each other.

I am walking and walking, sometimes taking a rest on the side and watch someone else running past me. Then I try to run again, but I can't catch my breath that I have to take a rest and walk again. Now that, the sun is going to set soon and the crowd and judges will have to leave, I have no choice but to try to get to the finishing line before the sun sets.

If you ask me do I want to finish the race, I am absolutely positive about it. If you ask me will I get there before the sun sets, I will inshaALLAH get there but I am not sure if I can break my personal best record. Too much of a perfectionist. That's my problem.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

A break which is not a break

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I will be taking a break from blogging until I submitted my thesis. This a break from blogging but not a break for me! Please make dua for me that I will get my thesis done as soon as possible.

Apology for making such a decision and thank you for your visit.

Wassalam.

Paris

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

Yes, I went to Paris last week for a conference but didn't have the time to blog, sorry. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. A sister in London whom I met only twice helped me to contact a French sister who kindly let me stay at her house for FREE for my whole time there. May ALLAH reward them all. Another French sister brought me around Paris and organised a dinner with a group of sisters, mashaALLAH, they are all so nice. I met a group of Malaysians too there. The best part was that I get to enjoy halal French & Italian cuisine which I didn't get while I was in Greece. On my way back on Eurostar, I also get to have halal meal! Can't believe how much the muslims have done in the non-muslim world. 

On my way back to Cambridge, I stayed a night in London and my friend brought me around London. This was the first time I have ever walked around London doing sight-seeing like a tourist who has never been to London. Unfortunately, it was just a short visit and we encountered a parade, apparently to celebrate 'Gay Day'. While getting on the train to go back to Cambridge, I met a group of Cambridge sisters who went shopping in London, alhamdulillah, I have some companies on my journey home.

Seriously, without all these great sisters' help, I would have spending a lot of money for this trip. Their assistance includes:

1. A London sister suggested a French sister who is her housemate to help me regarding accommodation in Paris and in searching the conference location.

2. The French sister found me a sister who is willing to accommodate me for my whole stay in Paris. (And this sister just got married 2 days before I arrived!)

3. 3 sisters in London let me stay at their house the day before my departure to Paris and the day after my arrival in London so that I can get a cheap Eurostar return ticket. 

4. A French sister brought me around Paris, showed me how to use the underground (Metro), organised a dinner with a lot of sisters, and basically be there whenever I needed anything or had any questions about Paris.

5. Another French sister who brought be around Paris to get what I want and sent me to the train station on my last day.

6. 3 Cambridge sisters who were on their way back to Cambridge helped me with my bags and accompanied me home.

Alhamdulillahi rabbil'alamin, that's all that I can say and may ALLAH reward them all.

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah

I'm a muslim

And there's nothing else I wanna be...

(Alhamdulillah - Dawud Wharnsby Ali)

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

3 hours a day

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I remember when I was at UTM, someone kept on stressing that a normal human usually properly sleeps for only 3 hours a day. There would be 1 hour before that and another 1 hour after that which are not proper sleep and can be easily woken up.  So, the quality sleeping hours are only 3, THREE! And that's what I am doing at the moment and has been doing it since this week. From a non-coffee drinker to one shot a day. I hope that my body can sustain it because I don't really feel very sleepy for most of the time and feel really fresh after that 3-hour sleep. The problem is, I am immune to alarm clock, so I have to always trouble my friends to give me a wake up call. Terrible! Anyway, just an update after not blogging for quite a while.

If we examined the sleeping hour of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), he probably slept less than we do. Imagine that Night Prayer is compulsory for him (saw) and he hardly slept in the day except a few before dhuhr time, I bet he (saw) must have slept way less than his ummah. He (saw) recommended us to sleep half the night, pray a quarter of the night and sleep again for 1/6 of it. So, if we take isha at 9pm in Makkah, after witr and all, he (saw) say slept at 10pm and say fajr was 5am. So, half the night was 3.5 hours, that's the sleep of Rasulullah (saw) everyday? 

Now, let's see our sleep in summer time. Isha is not until 11pm and fajr comes in at 2.30am, ok. let's make it 3am. So, we have 4 hours of 'night'. Half of it is 2 hours, so I basically sleep more than enough! Ok, I'm normal, alhamdulillah.

Btw, please make dua for me.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

I'm back from Athens

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I'm back in gloomy Cambridge again. Why gloomy? Cause Athens was sooooooooo sunny that there's no where to hide from the sun and there's no reason too to hide from it after living in the rainy UK for a long while. Anyway alhamdulillah got back safely after a horrible journey back.

We were scheduled to take off from Athens at 9.30pm (Greece time, or 7.30pm UK time) but the flight was delayed to 9.45pm. So we waited at the boarding terminal until 9.45pm but still we were not called to board. It was not until 10.15pm that we got on the plane and took off around 10.30pm. By then, most of us became friends already. It's always in this kind of difficult situation that people on the same boat unite.

After 3 hours and 20 minutes (as the captain announced), we landed at Gatwick airport. By the time we got to the luggage claiming area, it was 12.10am (UK time)! I was worried that I will have to take a taxi to go to my friend's house in London to stay the night as there is no train or coach from Gatwick to Cambridge at that hour!

We waited for another half an hour before the conveyance belt started to move. Everyone was mourning about the delay of the flight and then the luggage. By the time I got to Gatwick train station, it was almost 1am. There was no more tube service after 1am. My only option is the night bus or taxi. I got on the last Gatwick Express train at 1.35am. So, I arrived at the Victoria station at 2.10am. I was thinking how much do I need to pay to get a taxi, I mean the registered black cab which is the only safe option for me alone in London at that hour. I talked to a train conductor about my worry if I didn't the night bus and have to take a taxi, he assured me that there must be a night bus still.

Alhamdulillah, when I got out of the station, while the officers were chasing everyone out and preparing to close the gate, I saw the N52 was just right in front of me. I got on with my Oyster Card (actually, it's my friend's who allowed me to stay at hers) and was half-slept throughout the whole journey while keeping alert to the announcement on the bus. It's amazing that now the buses in London have this announcement system like the tube. So I don't have to look out to decide when to push the bell.

While on the bus, there was a group of black teenage boys. I don't know if they are muslims or not but they seriously were damaging the image of muslims. They covered themselves with hats and hoodies, only their eyes were visible. They were shouting in the bus in some kind of Arabic dialect mixed with English. And cried that they will bomb the bus while playing beeping sound as if a bomb is going to explode. Laughing and shouting that they want to kill the passengers, like drunk people. Such a disgrace to the muslims. As I was the only hijabi on the bus, I pretended to be sleeping (I was half-slept anyway) and push the bell when I heard my destination was near, quickly get off the bus.

To my shock, these boys stopped the same place as me. I dare not look back but just keep on walking with my heavy bags. After a distance from the bus stop, I turned back and saw that they actually walked in different direction of me from the bus stop. Alhamdulillah, I got to my friend's house at 3am. She has been waiting for me since before midnight. Poor girl, may ALLAH reward her a lot. I prayed fajr and went straight to sleep until 11.00am.

After meeting a friend in the afternoon, I went back to Cambridge in the evening. Alhamdulillah, I'm home now but since I've slept this morning, I can't sleep now, even I've tried. So, I decided to write a post of the journey back home though I have not said anything about my journey to and at Athens. I hope I have the time to do so, if not, please remind me as I have taken more than 250 photos of the historical sites of Athens.

There are a lot of lessons to learn from my trip this time. Just the journey back, patience is the main lesson to draw from it. Such calamity is also a chance to know people more and honestly I nearly cried during this journey back, not because of the difficulty but because of some little things that people did that really touched me.

The fact that even if my friend had forgotten about my arrival and would stay a night at hers, she still tried her best to ensure that I have the access to her room by the help of her housemates. The fact that, in such a situation, there is still someone out there praying and worrying for me, even until 3am. I felt really bad for keeping her waiting for me. The fact that there is a sister who is ready to come down to Victoria station to pick me up in case I missed the bus. One lady from among the passengers who also travelled by train bid farewell with me and asked me to take care of myself really touched me. She sounded really worried about me and we don't even know each other's names. Before the bus moved, the train conductor came near the bus window where I sat and gave me a smile and thumb-up, relieved that I got on the bus that I wanted.

There are so many people that I want to thank but I couldn't. May ALLAH reward them abundantly. There are so much that I want to say about this trip but for I have to go back to work now. Have to write another paper for another conference in Paris in July, inshaALLAH.

Wassalam.

Travelling

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I like travelling, seeing new places and meeting people, learning knowledge that I will never ever have the chance to learn except by experiencing it myself. Probably that is the only reason that I like about travelling, other than that I don't really like travelling.

First, I always get travel sick, especially on a stuffy bus. Worse, if it is a bus that stops ever so often or travelling on journey that requires constant braking, like lots of traffic lights, curvy path, etc. That's why I always prefer train though it's a bit more expensive but at least I can rest properly on the journey or have the pleasure to enjoy the scenery.

Second, to arrange the transportation and accommodation. It is easy and fun if I have the budget to do it. But when it is a low-cost trip, everything has to be done only after extensive research to find the cheapest and the best, and worst of all to book or buy in advance so that a low price is secured. This is the one thing that takes away my excitement to travel. If I am not sure if I want to go at that time, if I need that accommodation, if I have better choice to stay at a friend's rather than B & B, if... it is very difficult to decide the booking & purchasing. I hate the refund policy. It is like a kind of punishment to potential customers, especially the poor customer like me.

This issue comes into my post today though I am in a midst of stress completing my thesis and not sleeping the whole night because I am sorting out a few trips. I want to let you know that I am off to Athens this Sunday until Thursday for a conference. Fortunately this one is partially sponsored, so it's not a big stress to make the arrangement.

I am also organising the accommodation for a trip to the Lake District in June. It was such a hassle and I have been speaking to quite a few number of caravan parks to check the availability and to get the cheapest rate. Alhamdulillah, it was sorted after 1 month but now we are going to think about actually preparing food there, activities and transportation. I'm glad that I am not the person in-charged of these, only helping.

Next, in July, I am going to another conference in Paris. This time, I have not secured any funding from anyone cause I have exceeded the limit of funding that my faculty has ruled out for each PhD student. Also, I am not sure if my college will be happy to give me any more funding cause I have just been granted one last term to Athens, but I applied anyway, who knows, if ALLAH willed. So, this trip is a bit more head-ached than the Athens. Eurostar is so expensive inthe weekend and cheap ticket in the weekdays is only available in crazy hours like before 7am or after 7pm from London, not Cambridge, mind you. I have no funding to go to this conference in Paris, so to book a B & B is too much for me. There's no way that I can save on transportation but there is way to save on accommodation. Though I am tempted to stay at a friend's friend's friend's house to save money but since I have never met the sister and already I am going to stay at hers for FREE, I take this as very rude though I know that the sister won't mind the trouble but still I am very reluctant to be the reason for people to feel uncomfortable or unhappy, if I misbehaved while in their hospitality.

After speaking to my supervisor, he is happy that I should submit my thesis in August. So I am not going to do anymore travelling like this until September where there will be another conferece in Edinburgh. This time, the organiser is going to give grant for a few selected students. I pray that I will get it. If so, I will not have to worry much about money factor. Moreover, the accommodation of this conference is arranged by the organiser, so I don't suffer the head-ache in arranging this trip.

See, I like travelling if I can be sure that I will have a pleasant journey to and back, as well as MONEY to make my bookings. Many ask me if I am excited going to Athens this Sunday. My answer is no because I am loaded with the pressure to complete chapter 4 of my thesis and all these troubles to arrange the logistic of my trips in low budget that I completely lost the 'appetite' of travelling. Anyway, I pray that everything will go well, that I won't get lost in Athens when I can't even understand a word of Greek! Also, my presentation will go well and paper will be accepted for publication. And finally, I will at least enjoy the trip.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

Floppy A diskette

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

Today I was looking all over the faculty to get a floppy A diskette - a type of computer information storage that is nearly extinct. I needed it to make a boot disc to install Windows operating system in my new Mac so that I can have 2 platforms in 1 laptop. Alhamdulillah, the operation was a success after so many trials since I bought this new laptop about a month ago.

It is so amazing how technology moves so fast that things become out-of-date, either quickly or gradually. I remember that diskette is the easiest means for us to store information from computer when I was at university (nearly 10 years ago). We used to use WinZip all the times to store a file that is more than 1.44MB - seriously 1.44MB! How did we survive at that time? And before diskette, we have that type thin black plastic floppy which measures 8 inches and stores 1.2MB, joke!

Later, when I discovered CD-R which can store 700MB (depends on the CD-R), I bought a CD-writer and assembled it to my PC, that was way before many used CD-R. I was thrill at that discovery and that breakthrough really helped my study a lot when we have to do multimedia programmes as assignments. When CD-R and CD-RW was no more something uncommon, I bought a laptop which can burn DVDs - that gives me at least 4.0GB of storage (again, depends of the DVD-R)! Another breakthrough. Now, we have blu-ray and God knows what's next. Today, none of my laptops have even a floppy drive to read a floppy disc. The new Mac Air Book doesn't even have a CD/DVD-ROM yet can read CD/DVD remotely from another computer/laptop!

Of course, we have stuff like external USB-based storage, i.e., memory stick/pen drive, Zipdrive and also memory cards (many types of them) and now SDHC that can store up to 12GB in one small memory card. Conventional hard disc drive (HD-RAM) spins, that's why we need to defrag it once in a while. Now there is this new Solid State Drive where there is no more spinning hard drive but a file is located in the hard drive directly!

Looking back into today's incident to find a diskette to make a boot disc, it really reminds me of how fast time flies and how easily we can get behind if we don't catch up. I'm not just talking about technology but knowledge. If we don't learn today, there will be more stuff to learn tomorrow and we will never be able to catch up unless we have that ability to pick up things fast and have good teacher that can give us a crash course from scratch.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

CamERA 2008

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

We have a full-day conference today at the faculty. It's called CamERA 2008 though I am not sure what does ERA means, probably Educational Research Annual (or Association but unlikely). Anyway, it is a great opportunity every year to come to this conference and meet almost all the academic staff and phd students in the faculty.

Since early this year, the faculty has divided all the academic staff and research students into five different groups according to the areas of interest. I am under the Science, Technology & Mathematics Education group and my supervisor organises our own little Science Learning group which initially has nothing to do with this umbrella group cause we have been running our group long before the introduction of these five groups. I am also a member of another research group named Self-regulated Learning under the Psychology & Neuroscience in Education group led by Dr. David Whitebread. Reseach groups are very important not just as a form of support and motivation for phd students who are working independently (or alone) most of the time but also a place to learn and update ourselves with latest news and development in the respective research area. You will never know what you can learn from attending the meetings.

Today, at the conference, the parallel sessions were divided according to the umbrella groups, this is probably the only time in the year that each group manages to meet each other and get to know what others are doing. I met a Singaporean guy who has been doing quite a similar research as mine only with different focus, methods and location. It is good to get to talk to him and learn from him too. And also to speak broken English!

Anyway, I get to catch up with some other friends and exchanging words of encouragement is such an uplifting feeling to get on with my work.

Hope we all will be successful in our studies.

Wassalam.

Interest

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

Now I have realised that my main interest is not in Physics education but Islamic education and contemporary politics. Looking at the time I have spent lately, I can divide it into time for my phd study, islamic study, reading political news & blogs and eat & sleep. And most of my time is for islamic study and following-up political movement, especially my country. This is very worrying me because I meant to do my phd at this time! I hope I will get back on track of my study soon. If my posting gets really not that frequent, pray that I am doing my phd than other stuff.

By the time, Indeed men are in lost, except those who have faith and do righteous deeds and enjoin the Truth and patience.

~ The Holy Qur'an, Surah al-'Asr (Chapter 103, The Time) verses 1-3

A song by Dawud Wharnsby Ali - Another Day:

Wassalam.

Developing Your Writing

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

One thing I like about studying in Cambridge beside its collection of all the books published in the UK stored in the University Library, is the FREE training courses for the students by the Joint Schools' Social Sciences (JSSS). The University Library will receive a complimentary copy of any publication published in the UK making it the best place to do research, the JSSS provides all the trainings that a PhD student needs from finding a research topic to publishing the thesis into a book or article.

Last Wednesday, I attended a course on 'Developing Your Writing', given by a professional academic writer, editor and publishing house commissioner, Another Haynes. Basically the university pays for him to come and we get to join the workshop for free (our tuition fees of course has covered this). Even to write, you need to learn from books. He suggested more than 10 useful and practical books to refer if we want to write a good piece of thesis or book to be published.

While in Malaysia, the scenario is that the universities encourage the academic staff to write books to be published, yet many are still delaying it. Here in the UK, to publish a book is like nearly impossible. The reason for this is because there are so many young and enthusiastic PhD students who want their thesis to be published into a book. They will try to find a publishing house commissioner, try to make networking, get the commissioner interested in their work and write a proposal to them to be considered. Many of the times, they receive disappointing answer, not that their works are not good, but there are just too many good pieces of writings waiting to be published. This includes all the academicians around the country. In addition, the budget to stock more books into the libraries and book stores is shrinking since the books have over-flooded the market. Also, the use of online technology today, reading online is preferable than buying a book. Hence publishing a book is extremely difficult in UK unless you have a really interesting topic to write and of course your writing has to stand out from the rest, or else, your proposal will be put in the big 'no pile'. This is true to publishing an article in a journal as I said in one of my posts.

I don't know how to tell you the best writing is but always bear in mind that you are writing something and the readers actually will have to think if they want to pay the money to read your stuff. The commissioner, the editor have to think if the book can sell, if the libraries want to buy it, if the peer-reviewers will think the book is telling an original, useful and interesting story, if the book stores want to stock the book, if it's worth to do an in-print or just an electronic version of the book, if the students want to buy it as a textbook, etc. By knowing the readership, we will know how to write a good piece of writing. Hey, after all, the saddest fact for a PhD student is that your thesis will only be read by 3 persons in the whole world if it is not published, they are your supervisor, one internal examiner and one external examiner.

So, do I want to publish a book? Yes, of course but let me get my thesis done first.

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

Debbie's viva

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

This afternoon, I was in the Phd room in my faculty writing the final bit of my Chapter 3 and suddenly the door was crowded with my colleagues, talking so loudly. No one is supposed to disturb anyone in the PhD room. I walked out and realised that Debbie has just passed her viva and the good news is that she passed without any correction. The examiners are happy to give her the highest result any PhD student can have though she has 4 tiny little typos. But, that is such a great news, inspiration and motivation for us lots who are still struggling to finish writing-up our theses. She was soooooo happy and she kept laughing by herself in front of the computer next to me while writing emails to friends and family, conveying them the good news. I can't stop laughing together with her as she laughed by herself next to me intermittently.

I wish that I will have the same ending as Debbie but I know that Debbie worked really hard for this and I attended her presentation in one of the Self-regulated Learning research group meetings. She presented an extensive and comprehensive PhD work and I have learnt from her during that one presentation. Now I also remember that we have been presenting in one of the Student Lunchtime Seminars together in the faculty. She is now already a Post-doc in Institute of Education, London, even before she submitted her thesis. There is no surprise that she can achieve such an excellent result today at her viva. I wish her well in her future and maybe she can go back to Chille and contribute to her country when her post-doc contract has finished.

And btw, one of her examiners will inshaALLAH be my internal examiner too. My supervisor has spoken to him last year regarding getting him as my internal examiner and he has agreed. Anyway, this doesn't mean that I will definitely be getting the same result, but I pray as long as I pass my PhD, that would be more than enough for me, alhamdulillah. Oh ALLAH, please grant me my wishes, indeed YOU are all-Hearing and All-Knowing. Amin.

Wassalam.

Reading, Writing & Reflecting

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I need some brain-power! Plenty of it. With such a low English proficiency, I have to read all these English texts, write in English and even sometime have to think in English! I wonder how to think in another language if my readings and writing are in English, I think my brain gets confused if I do it in another language, funny! My mother tongue is Hakka, it's only to communicate with my family & relatives. My first language is Mandarin, it's only useful for Mandarin classes and speaking to Chinese-speaking friends, or read Chinese newspaper or doing maths in my head, especially when it comes to time, money and doing time table or division. My second language is Malay, which is my country's official language, use it a lot especially in academy because that is the official language in my secondary school and university in Malaysia. So, did my degree in Malay though sometimes I did read some papers and books in English. My third language is English, that's why it's not the best. Not really using it a lot until I further my study in Cambridge. Everything is in English, from the most formal to the most informal event in my life here, they are all in English. Hence my mind is always reflecting in English. I wonder when I am out of the vocabulary needed to think of an act or a thing, what language am I using in my head or it's just an image without a word for it?

By the way, this is metacognition (my research topic), thinking about thinking. I am thinking about my own thinking. By doing so, we can learn and work better because we can actually come to a clearer sense of how our brains is working, how can we work better, learn better, what style suit us more and speed up the cognitive processes, etc. The above account is just one very simple and probably not the best example but enough to make you aware that sometimes we need to sit down and think how we think so that we are not doing what we are doing for the sake of just completing something in our lives. Have I baffled you?

ALLAH makes us different from the animals because of the ability to think and reflect. If we choose to abandon it, we need to review our status on this Earth. Can we still claim the status of a khalifah on the Earth?

ALLAHU'alam.

Wassalam.

Trip to Liverpool - II

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

These are the pictures of the conference. There are more than 350 events in 3 days and a giant exhibition of all the companies and organisations related to science education in UK. This annual conference is a good time for science educators meet. I met more people and presented a paper in this conference. It was a very nice feeling to know that your research receives a positive response from the science teachers or the practitioners. Alhamdulillah.

ASE Annual Conference 2008 at University of Liverpool

Research seminar - my friend is presenting

Demonstration
I like the title - If It Moves, It's Biology, If It Smells, It's Chemistry, If It Doesn't Work, It's Physics

Open conference

Exhibition - got lots of freebies!

Periodical Table with real stuff!

Wassalam.

Trip to Liverpool - I

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I went to Liverpool 2 weeks ago (no time to update this entry :S) for this conference.

I think I like Liverpool. The streets are wide, not like Cambridge and there are lots of halal food shops around. I even had a HALAL Full English Breakfast and also jacket potato with HALAL roasted chicken, and most importantly in an amazing low price! Alhamdulillah.

The journey was horrible due to the unexpected rail engineering works. Both my journeys to and back were late. I got on the train on-time but I arrived late! For many times, I like going around the world (? UK is my first country abroad and I have since never been out of England or other country except for umrah, once!) but I don't like the journey. Beside my car-sick, I think it's the time that I spent doing nothing (can't even read!) really makes me dislike any travelling journey. Well, what can I do.

I was occupied by the conference for the whole day-time and only had a little time at night to walk around (and it was a rainy night when I have the chance to go around). These are some pictures to share.

The Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral

The door was close when I get there in the evening :(

View of the city from the cathedral

Another cathedral (not far from the above one) - Liverpool Anglican Cathedral

China town

Wassalam.

FESRA

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

FESRA is the abbreviation of Faculty of Education Students' Research Association created end of last year to gather all the research students in the Faculty of Education, University of Cambridge under one body that enable more dynamic, organised and collaborated students research activities being held in the faculty. The problem of the research students, i.e.: Ph.D., M.Phil & M.Ed. in this faculty is that there is a lack of interaction between them, not just between the different courses and modes (full-time & part-time) but also different years of matriculation. The lack of interaction is not healthy for the development of students research in the faculty. As a result, one of the professors in my faculty decided to call some active students of the faculty who are interested to help him in giving suggestions to improve the research environment. This call was way back in May 2007 when I was working on the Kaleidoscope 2007. I came to the meeting randomly partly because I am the committee of Kaleidoscope and also the Student Lunchtime Seminar of my faculty. After I have heard the problems, I came out with an idea to create a student association in the faculty so that the students here will feel attached to the faculty rather than the societies in the colleges or university.

This idea was later being crystallised by now the chairperson of the association. With 7 executive members, FESRA is a new born association that is hoped to be able to coordinate the research activities among the research students in this faculty, alhamdulillah.

Tomorrow, there will be the first social event organised by FESRA. The chairperson is a very tolerate person and decided to order HALAL food for the event. I was very thrill by her decision. But at the same time, she also wants to buy some mulled wine cos Cambridge cannot get away from alcohol in any social event. So I wrote her an email again to express my concern but not trying to be pushy as she has already trying her best to accommodate the muslim's needs. Alhamdulillah.

She then replied:

Dear Fatin

Of course and I completely understand. In fact I was waiting for it to be
mentioned but thought it better to wait to see if there were any
objections.

I think we should send a FESRA newsletter special but would then ask that
we limit the alcohol to 7.40pm onwards as I know that some people are
coming with children and they will most likely want to have a drink before
going home and will probably have to leave at 8pm. What I will do is
advertise for an earlier start time of 6.45 with alcohol made available
from 7.30 if that's okay.

More than happy to accommodate your needs!

Alhamdulillah. Though it is not the most ideal but at least it's yet another beginning to spread the understanding and tolerance towards multi-faith society. May ALLAH bless this association and help all the students who are doing educational research to prosper and contribute to the development of educational knowledge. Amin.

Wassalam.

Christmas Lunch

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

Last Friday, Shaykh Faraz Rabbani came to Cambridge to give a khutbah and then a 1-hour Q & A as he is so famous of Q & A in the Sunnipath.com. I have been told by a few that it is haram to sit in a table with people consuming alcohol, but some of the brothers and sisters in Cambridge do not take this seriously. So I thought it might just be makruh and not haram. Cambridge particularly has this alcohol problem because it is part of the drinking culture and tradition in Cambridge that there are formal halls every week (if you watch Harry Porter, the dinner time is like the formal hall here) and everyone usually bring a bottle of alcohol. Cambridge spends too much money on alcohol! Formal Hall is when the students and fellows meet, it is not compulsory to go but some old colleges include the fee for formal hall into the college bill, meaning that like it or not you have to use the formal hall tickets every term or you are wasting your money paying for it. Alhamdulillah, my college doesn't impose such a rule cause it's a new college, only 50 years old. Basically, throughout my whole life in Cambridge, I only went to one formal hall in my college and one in Trinity Hall. This was because these two formal halls are non-alcohol! Woohoo! It's a long story why these two formal halls are non-alcohol formals. Anyway, my point is, it is really hard to avoid sitting together and have dinner with friends in Cambridge without the presence of alcohol. So, I asked Shaykh Faraz Rabbani regarding this and his answer is that both alcohol and haram food should not be present. But if it is for academic reason that we have to sit in one table, that is fine but it is best to avoid or explain it to the lecturer/supervisor for long term benefits.

This question strikes me cause one of my lecturers invited us to a Christmas Lunch. This lecturer was my viva assessor. After the viva, he invited me to join his monthly research group meeting where many issues are discussed and I have learnt a lot from this meeting. For the next meeting, we will be having a Christmas Lunch right after the meeting. So, the meeting is an academic activity but not the lunch that follows suit. This lecturer likes wine and of course for this festive event, it is going to spoil the atmosphere without it. I didn't know what to decide. Eventually, I wrote an email to him and explain my difficulty.

I don't know how to word this but I hope you can understand.

I appreciate Donna's & your effort in organising this Christmas Lunch. It would
be a fun get-together and I know I'll enjoy the company of everyone in this
group. I am reluctant to decide if I should go because it is strictly forbidden
for me to sit in a social gathering that serves alcohol (there is less benefits
than harms), unless it can be justified as a learning process, not merely a
social function. I don't know if everyone will be having alcohol in this lunch
and I certainly do not wish to spoil the traditional way of Christmas Lunch as
you have wanted. I certainly dislike to make thing difficult for anyone. I hope
you understand my principle. I will definitely come along if alcohol is not
served in this lunch.

Regards,

FATIN

It took me quite a while to compose such an email not sure if this is going to be a bad move. Anyway, he forwarded my email to all the colleagues in this meeting:

Dear All

Please see message below from Fatin. I'm sure we would all happily abstain on
this occasion so that we can have the pleasure of Fatin's company, so shall we
proceed on that basis?

By the way, more Xmas lunch related news - I have just heard that Maria will be
coming over to Cambridge again in that week, so she will also be able to join
us for the lunch!

Best wishes

I didn't expect that he will forward my email to everyone. Anyway, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, many of them are ready to respect my principle and be tolerant with my religious belief. These are 2 responses from among the colleagues:

Dear Fatin and All,
I will be very happy not to drink any alcohol. I love the term "less benefit
than harm", I certainly do agree with it, even if it's out of its original
context :)
See you all,

Great news about Maria coming to Cambridge!!!
And of course I don't mind the non-drinking rule as long as Fatin join us!
Looking forward to see you all in the lunch!

I nearly cried when I read these emails. Before I came to UK, many have warned me that it is not easy to practise your religion here. I thought it is true, but alhamdulillah, as Islam is becoming more popular (thanks to the media!), people are getting more 'understanding' about Islam (whether it's misunderstanding or understanding), there is always opportunity to tell them what is Islam about. This is also for the sake of long-term cause after this, if they want to have a dinner or whatever kind of get together, they will understand the 'cans' and 'can'ts'.

Also, in the next faculty's end-of-term party, the organiser is ordering halal food! Yay!!! I love Prophet Isa (as) cause his teaching of love and tolerance is still practised by his followers (though not all of his teaching is preserved until now).

Wassalam.

p/s: I bumped into the lecturer later today and he said that he is going to change the venue from the pub to a restaurant. Such an understanding person! Btw, he is a psychologist.