Home, home, silly girl!

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I have been planning to go back home to Malaysia (yay! finally after 2 years) since before Rihla and have already bought the tickets. It's going to be on 23rd August 2007 and come back to UK on 6th September 2007. But then, my engaged friend, she gave me a wedding photographer proposal for her wedding on 25th August 2007. She is willing to pay any fee to change my flight ticket and also provides me with accommodation & transportation to her wedding. Money is not my biggest concern, but other matters.

See, she is one of my important friends in UK that I won't want to disappoint her. If any of these sisters asked me a favour, it is really hard for me to refuse them. This is one of her biggest events of her life time, which good friend would want to miss it? Plus, I will be able to see many sisters there as well as her cute family too (they are really cute, including her grandma). I've checked that there is a ticket to Malaysia available on 26th August 2007 and am ready to change if she wishes (I've even spoken to my travel agency). I made a few istikharah, but my heart is still is too reluctant to stay. I don't know why. There are so many reasons for me to attend the wedding and I'm not really homesick plus I know that my family won't mind me delay going home for 3 days. But still, I can't make up my mind to stay.

I can't even give any valid reason for not to stay. I can only give a few excuses like - I don't think I'm worth for you to pay for as I'm not a professional wedding photographer (not even a professional photographer!) and I don't want to ruin your special day; there must be someone who can do better job than me; it will be very troublesome for you to look for accommodation for me (even to put me in your house when all your relatives come) and find me transportation to get there and to Heathrow; etc.

Alhamdulillah, today ALLAH made the decision for me (due to the istikharah, I hope). She rang me and told me that her sister-in-law will be able to take the job. She will still invite me to her wedding but it's up to me to decide either to go or not. I felt such a relief (for no reason). And basically she also has the same feeling as me because she also has problem to tell me that 'I don't need you anymore'. Poor girl! It all happened the way that ALLAH wants it to be.

Today, I was talking to Zeeniya and for some reasons, we ended up talking about my hesitation of attending the wedding. Zeeniya rang her straight after the conversation right before Dhuhr (which of course out of my knowledge and I didn't even want her to know what I've told Zeeniya). She then rang me and said:"Silly girl! Why didn't you tell me? I also don't know how to tell you. I was meant to ring you earlier today but wanted to wait until you finish your madrassah. We were in the same situation, you silly girl!". Basically, the madrassah finishes after Dhuhr everyday except Friday (which is today) and she didn't know that I don't have class today. If not has been for this reason, I would not have the chance to talk to Zeeniya first and then Zeeniya phoned her and told her about my hesitation. SubhanALLAH, how great ALLAH's plan is!

"The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him, and the misery of the son of Adam results from his failure to pray istikharah, and the misery of the son of Adam results from in his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him."

~ Hadith narrated by At-Tirmidhi

So, yup, my plan of going home to Malaysia will stay the same, inshaALLAH. I pray that her wedding will go well.

Wassalam.