Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,
This afternoon, I was in the Phd room in my faculty writing the final bit of my Chapter 3 and suddenly the door was crowded with my colleagues, talking so loudly. No one is supposed to disturb anyone in the PhD room. I walked out and realised that Debbie has just passed her viva and the good news is that she passed without any correction. The examiners are happy to give her the highest result any PhD student can have though she has 4 tiny little typos. But, that is such a great news, inspiration and motivation for us lots who are still struggling to finish writing-up our theses. She was soooooo happy and she kept laughing by herself in front of the computer next to me while writing emails to friends and family, conveying them the good news. I can't stop laughing together with her as she laughed by herself next to me intermittently.
I wish that I will have the same ending as Debbie but I know that Debbie worked really hard for this and I attended her presentation in one of the Self-regulated Learning research group meetings. She presented an extensive and comprehensive PhD work and I have learnt from her during that one presentation. Now I also remember that we have been presenting in one of the Student Lunchtime Seminars together in the faculty. She is now already a Post-doc in Institute of Education, London, even before she submitted her thesis. There is no surprise that she can achieve such an excellent result today at her viva. I wish her well in her future and maybe she can go back to Chille and contribute to her country when her post-doc contract has finished.
And btw, one of her examiners will inshaALLAH be my internal examiner too. My supervisor has spoken to him last year regarding getting him as my internal examiner and he has agreed. Anyway, this doesn't mean that I will definitely be getting the same result, but I pray as long as I pass my PhD, that would be more than enough for me, alhamdulillah. Oh ALLAH, please grant me my wishes, indeed YOU are all-Hearing and All-Knowing. Amin.
Wassalam.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Reading, Writing & Reflecting
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,
I need some brain-power! Plenty of it. With such a low English proficiency, I have to read all these English texts, write in English and even sometime have to think in English! I wonder how to think in another language if my readings and writing are in English, I think my brain gets confused if I do it in another language, funny! My mother tongue is Hakka, it's only to communicate with my family & relatives. My first language is Mandarin, it's only useful for Mandarin classes and speaking to Chinese-speaking friends, or read Chinese newspaper or doing maths in my head, especially when it comes to time, money and doing time table or division. My second language is Malay, which is my country's official language, use it a lot especially in academy because that is the official language in my secondary school and university in Malaysia. So, did my degree in Malay though sometimes I did read some papers and books in English. My third language is English, that's why it's not the best. Not really using it a lot until I further my study in Cambridge. Everything is in English, from the most formal to the most informal event in my life here, they are all in English. Hence my mind is always reflecting in English. I wonder when I am out of the vocabulary needed to think of an act or a thing, what language am I using in my head or it's just an image without a word for it?
By the way, this is metacognition (my research topic), thinking about thinking. I am thinking about my own thinking. By doing so, we can learn and work better because we can actually come to a clearer sense of how our brains is working, how can we work better, learn better, what style suit us more and speed up the cognitive processes, etc. The above account is just one very simple and probably not the best example but enough to make you aware that sometimes we need to sit down and think how we think so that we are not doing what we are doing for the sake of just completing something in our lives. Have I baffled you?
ALLAH makes us different from the animals because of the ability to think and reflect. If we choose to abandon it, we need to review our status on this Earth. Can we still claim the status of a khalifah on the Earth?
ALLAHU'alam.
Wassalam.
I need some brain-power! Plenty of it. With such a low English proficiency, I have to read all these English texts, write in English and even sometime have to think in English! I wonder how to think in another language if my readings and writing are in English, I think my brain gets confused if I do it in another language, funny! My mother tongue is Hakka, it's only to communicate with my family & relatives. My first language is Mandarin, it's only useful for Mandarin classes and speaking to Chinese-speaking friends, or read Chinese newspaper or doing maths in my head, especially when it comes to time, money and doing time table or division. My second language is Malay, which is my country's official language, use it a lot especially in academy because that is the official language in my secondary school and university in Malaysia. So, did my degree in Malay though sometimes I did read some papers and books in English. My third language is English, that's why it's not the best. Not really using it a lot until I further my study in Cambridge. Everything is in English, from the most formal to the most informal event in my life here, they are all in English. Hence my mind is always reflecting in English. I wonder when I am out of the vocabulary needed to think of an act or a thing, what language am I using in my head or it's just an image without a word for it?
By the way, this is metacognition (my research topic), thinking about thinking. I am thinking about my own thinking. By doing so, we can learn and work better because we can actually come to a clearer sense of how our brains is working, how can we work better, learn better, what style suit us more and speed up the cognitive processes, etc. The above account is just one very simple and probably not the best example but enough to make you aware that sometimes we need to sit down and think how we think so that we are not doing what we are doing for the sake of just completing something in our lives. Have I baffled you?
ALLAH makes us different from the animals because of the ability to think and reflect. If we choose to abandon it, we need to review our status on this Earth. Can we still claim the status of a khalifah on the Earth?
ALLAHU'alam.
Wassalam.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Cambridge vs. London
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,
If you asked me do I like Cambridge more or London more, I probably won't have a definite answer for it because the feeling is not for the place, but more to the people living there. Obviously I have been living in Cambridge way longer than London, logically Cambridge should be my home in UK. Now that I am staying in London for a few days, practically doing nothing importantly special which I have to do it in London (I can do my work in Cambridge too), I don't feel that I miss Cambridge or urgently want to get home. I don't know if there is anyone there missing me, I wish not.
I am supposed to be in Cambridge this week to help and attend EIW (Experience Islam Week), the major event in ISOC, yet, I came to London to see these beautiful (zahir & batin) sisters of mine, who can always give me such a great relief and comfort, just by seeing them or be around them. Yes, I am very stressed at the moment that I have to run away from Cambridge to find peace in my mind and heart. I know that I can find it in London because these sisters are here. If I want to talk to them, it is sufficient for me to call them and hear their voice, but that is not the same at all compares to seeing them. I don't know why and can't explain how, probably I am just a stubborn soul whose heart is not going to be contented by just one type of sense. Selfish? I don't know. I took away their time so that they can entertain me, take my grief away, but in turn, do I do anything good to them? May ALLAH forgive me and grant them reward and barakah in their time.
Do all these historical tourist spots in London (e.g., Big Ben, London Bridge, Buckingham Palace, British Museum, etc.) appeal to be attractive to me? They probably are but I won't want to go there for the sake of just going there to see things, I want to go with people that I would like to spend time with. I think maybe it is this stubborn idea that makes my heart not attaches to the place, rather the people there. The monuments will always be there though the exhibitions may change but the people will not always be there. This idea of ever-changing of humans drives me a bit crazy. Knowing the fact that I am not going to be long in UK and won't have the opportunity to meet these lovely sisters here as frequent as I like, I don't know what to do but keep telling myself not to think about it. Leaving Malaysia is not the same feeling because I know that I will eventually go back and see them. Leaving UK... don't even want to think about it.
I wish that my heart can be stronger to just attach to ALLAH, the One, the Ever-lasting, the Never-changing, the Static. I wish that it is enough for me to say and up-hold the belief that HasbiyALLAHU wa ni'ma al-Wakil thumma tawakkaltu 'alALLAH (period). It is just too difficult for me to do it. Not to say that I don't have any of these qualities, it is just that I don't think I have enough to at least come to a stressless state, where I can leave things to ALLAH totally. Yes, I have tied my camel, but I still feel that I need to keep an eye on it once in a while. I really question myself of how much reliance and attachment that I put in myself and the rest around me to ALLAH. I care for others and want the best for them, but am the best that I want is really the best that ALLAH wants them to have? Is loosing the camel a better thing for me? Probably it can be a good thing so that I don't get attached to the camel anymore and can get on my life with a new car (?).
Life is such an irony. But I guess we have to try to strive to achieve a balance. That's why it has been mentioned over and over again in the Qur'an that we are the people of the middle-way, we are not asked to exceed any of the extremes but should strive a balance in our lives. Probably for now, that is my jihad. Pray hard and work hard but never fail to rely on ALLAH and accept every good and bad thing is pre-planned by ALLAH and take it as the best that HE wants us to have. Yes, if I do this and do that, thing might be better but can I think that by NOT doing this and that thing will also be better?
ALLAHU'alam.
May ALLAH guide and help us all. Amin.
Wassalam.
p/s: Every piece of Earth is ALLAH's creation, why bother comparing them? Every human is ALLAH' creation, why bother comparing them too??? Learn to accept them all, Fatin!
If you asked me do I like Cambridge more or London more, I probably won't have a definite answer for it because the feeling is not for the place, but more to the people living there. Obviously I have been living in Cambridge way longer than London, logically Cambridge should be my home in UK. Now that I am staying in London for a few days, practically doing nothing importantly special which I have to do it in London (I can do my work in Cambridge too), I don't feel that I miss Cambridge or urgently want to get home. I don't know if there is anyone there missing me, I wish not.
I am supposed to be in Cambridge this week to help and attend EIW (Experience Islam Week), the major event in ISOC, yet, I came to London to see these beautiful (zahir & batin) sisters of mine, who can always give me such a great relief and comfort, just by seeing them or be around them. Yes, I am very stressed at the moment that I have to run away from Cambridge to find peace in my mind and heart. I know that I can find it in London because these sisters are here. If I want to talk to them, it is sufficient for me to call them and hear their voice, but that is not the same at all compares to seeing them. I don't know why and can't explain how, probably I am just a stubborn soul whose heart is not going to be contented by just one type of sense. Selfish? I don't know. I took away their time so that they can entertain me, take my grief away, but in turn, do I do anything good to them? May ALLAH forgive me and grant them reward and barakah in their time.
Do all these historical tourist spots in London (e.g., Big Ben, London Bridge, Buckingham Palace, British Museum, etc.) appeal to be attractive to me? They probably are but I won't want to go there for the sake of just going there to see things, I want to go with people that I would like to spend time with. I think maybe it is this stubborn idea that makes my heart not attaches to the place, rather the people there. The monuments will always be there though the exhibitions may change but the people will not always be there. This idea of ever-changing of humans drives me a bit crazy. Knowing the fact that I am not going to be long in UK and won't have the opportunity to meet these lovely sisters here as frequent as I like, I don't know what to do but keep telling myself not to think about it. Leaving Malaysia is not the same feeling because I know that I will eventually go back and see them. Leaving UK... don't even want to think about it.
I wish that my heart can be stronger to just attach to ALLAH, the One, the Ever-lasting, the Never-changing, the Static. I wish that it is enough for me to say and up-hold the belief that HasbiyALLAHU wa ni'ma al-Wakil thumma tawakkaltu 'alALLAH (period). It is just too difficult for me to do it. Not to say that I don't have any of these qualities, it is just that I don't think I have enough to at least come to a stressless state, where I can leave things to ALLAH totally. Yes, I have tied my camel, but I still feel that I need to keep an eye on it once in a while. I really question myself of how much reliance and attachment that I put in myself and the rest around me to ALLAH. I care for others and want the best for them, but am the best that I want is really the best that ALLAH wants them to have? Is loosing the camel a better thing for me? Probably it can be a good thing so that I don't get attached to the camel anymore and can get on my life with a new car (?).
Life is such an irony. But I guess we have to try to strive to achieve a balance. That's why it has been mentioned over and over again in the Qur'an that we are the people of the middle-way, we are not asked to exceed any of the extremes but should strive a balance in our lives. Probably for now, that is my jihad. Pray hard and work hard but never fail to rely on ALLAH and accept every good and bad thing is pre-planned by ALLAH and take it as the best that HE wants us to have. Yes, if I do this and do that, thing might be better but can I think that by NOT doing this and that thing will also be better?
ALLAHU'alam.
May ALLAH guide and help us all. Amin.
Wassalam.
p/s: Every piece of Earth is ALLAH's creation, why bother comparing them? Every human is ALLAH' creation, why bother comparing them too??? Learn to accept them all, Fatin!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Happy Chinese New Year
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,
Happy Chinese New Year! If I was at home, I must be having a reunion dinner with my family. But too bad, this year many of us can't make it home, only my 2 younger sisters and a brother with my father and grandmother. My elder sister who is married has to spend her new year at her husband's parents' home while my younger sister didn't manage to get a flight ticket home as she was waiting for posting before she could decide from where she will be flying home. And me, still stuck in Cambridge with my endless PhD works. Has been 6 years not celebrating Chinese New Year with my family due to work and study. InshaALLAH will try to make it next year when I think and pray that I will finish my PhD by then.
Chinese New Year marks the beginning of another lunar calendar. It is shorter than the Georgerian calendar (about 11 days) and so in every 4 years, there will be an extra month, a repetition of one of the months taking turn every 4 years, i.e., 2 Month 7 this year and after 4 years, there will be 2 Month 8. It is amazing how humans had observed the universe and came to design such a system to keep track of the time. I don't really know who designed this lunar calendar (the earliest record of the use of this type of calendar can be traced back 4700 year ago when Emperor Huang used it), probably it is a form of Wahy that ALLAH gave to one of the Prophets in the beginning of time or a type of knowledge that ALLAH gave directly to Prophet Adam (as) like how HE taught him the names of things (Surah al-Baqarah verse 31). Only ALLAH knows.
Wassalam.
Happy Chinese New Year! If I was at home, I must be having a reunion dinner with my family. But too bad, this year many of us can't make it home, only my 2 younger sisters and a brother with my father and grandmother. My elder sister who is married has to spend her new year at her husband's parents' home while my younger sister didn't manage to get a flight ticket home as she was waiting for posting before she could decide from where she will be flying home. And me, still stuck in Cambridge with my endless PhD works. Has been 6 years not celebrating Chinese New Year with my family due to work and study. InshaALLAH will try to make it next year when I think and pray that I will finish my PhD by then.
Chinese New Year marks the beginning of another lunar calendar. It is shorter than the Georgerian calendar (about 11 days) and so in every 4 years, there will be an extra month, a repetition of one of the months taking turn every 4 years, i.e., 2 Month 7 this year and after 4 years, there will be 2 Month 8. It is amazing how humans had observed the universe and came to design such a system to keep track of the time. I don't really know who designed this lunar calendar (the earliest record of the use of this type of calendar can be traced back 4700 year ago when Emperor Huang used it), probably it is a form of Wahy that ALLAH gave to one of the Prophets in the beginning of time or a type of knowledge that ALLAH gave directly to Prophet Adam (as) like how HE taught him the names of things (Surah al-Baqarah verse 31). Only ALLAH knows.
Wassalam.
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