Memories of Ramadan

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh,

I've been through 5 times of Ramadan in my life as a Muslim. Adding another 3 times of Ramadan before my conversion, I would say, each year's Ramadan is so special and have so much to say. I can't really remember my first 3 Ramadans before Islam. I can only remember the joy of fasting without having suhur, buying food at the PARAM (PAsar RAMadan -- Ramadan Bazaar), breaking fast together with my muslim friends in the college with all those delicious yet low-cost food and then while they were praying, I played computer games (i.e. car racing). That was such a very bad way of spending my time in Ramadan. But alhamdulillah, i think due to this process, somehow ALLAH cleaned my heart and gave me the guidance to come to realise the beauty of Islam.

I remember I took the Shahadah (article of faith) on the last day of the month of Sha'aban. Straight after that is the terawih prayer (Rest Prayer) which every muslims do in the month of Ramadan. Well, since I have not told my family yet, it was kind of like I have to hide myself from the public the fact that I am a Muslim. Even so, I insisted to make my first terawih prayer in the mosque. 2 of my friends brought me to the mosque at midnight after everyone has gone and I made my prayers there nearly everyday.

The second year, everyone knew that I'm a muslim. So there is no problem of going to the mosque for terawih prayer. I spent most of my time in the mosque during that Ramadan but can't really benefit most of the time cause I still have a lot of things to learn and practise. Though it's much more better than my first Ramadan, I still not quite happy with what I've done in that month especially for not being able to memorise some of the important surahs that the imam read in the witr prayer.

In my year, I was fully prepared for it. I did a check list of what I need to do everyday to make sure that I pray my 5 daily prayers in the mosque (in congregation at least) and with at least 1 sunnah prayer in each of the prayer, iftar at the mosque, terawih in the mosque, sleep most of my nights (i'tikaf) in the mosque, read the whole Quran, join the tadarus Quran, make dhikr, do charity, etc. That was a great training for me both physically and spiritually. I must say that it's one of my best Ramadan ever. I literally lived a routine like this everyday - prayed Asr in the mosque, read Quran, wait for iftar, had iftar, prayed maghrib, isha & terawih, went home to eat and brought some food for suhur, went back to the mosque, slept, woke up for tahajjud, prayed fajr and then went to work until Asr time came. I love it!

In my fourth year, I was going to repeat the same plan as the previous Ramadan, but due to my study, I moved to UK where I didn't even know where is the mosque and didn't know many of the muslims in Cambridge. I ended up going to pray terawih in the mosque only for 2 nights though I get to sleep a night in the mosque and prayed 1 terawih in the student prayer room. That was all I did for that month. The reason for this was also because I arrived in UK on the first day of Ramadan, having jetlag and trying to adjust myself to the weather, environment and people here, I didn't manage to do lots. Alhamdulillah, it's a good experience cause it's through process as such that people learn.

Last year, it was an amazing experience in Ramadan. I was back in the mosque everyday completing my check list as my third year. Having iftar and terawih prayer in the mosque nearly everyday, I became so close to the sisters who came everyday too. It was such a heart-breaking moment when we realised the end of Ramadan and we would be parted. I was in the mosque from after Asr until the end of terawih prayer. I came to know many of the sisters in Cambridge and we didn't manage to see each other after Eid is over.

Now, coming back to this blessed month, once again, I meet these sisters. Yesterday was the first terawih in the mosque and whenever we met, we were like have just found something we loose and have been searching for a year. It felt so good to see them all again. These sisters basically are aunties who have retired. They have family to look after, that's why it's hard to meet so frequently. I really appreciate the moment in the mosque in this month and I prayed that this will last forever. With the mosque has just been refurbished, the sisters have bigger space and I pray that with this enlarge space for the sisters, there will be more sisters coming to the mosque.

May ALLAH bless them all too.

I know that my Ramadan will never be the same again when I have to go back to Malaysia next year, but hey, we would never know what ALLAH has planned for us, I just pray that ALLAH will make my Ramadan better each year from the previous. And most importantly accept all my acts of worship. May you have a fruitful Ramadan too. Ramadan Mubarak!

Wassalam.